Stop Banning "I"--Day 23

Today's prompt is to talk about things I've learned that school won't teach you.

As an English major, this should be fun.

1) The word "utilize" should never be used. It sounds pompous and like you're sucking up to your teacher. Which is exactly what you're doing. So stop.

2) You can easily get past the internet blockers your school sets up.

3) No matter the format of an essay, the word "I" should not be banned. "I think," and "I believe," you can do without, but to completely eliminate "I"?
No. Just no.

4) You should not treat the 5-paragraph essay rule as your Bible.
Sure, 5 paragraphs are a good way to start out and get the basic idea of your essay, but in the real world, it doesn't matter how many paragraphs you have. It matters if you can transition between ideas and allow them to flow nicely.

5) Middle school is a time to be bitchy, hormonal, and weird. Embrace it. Revel in your angst. There's nothing worse than having held-up angst that you are forced to let go when you're 40.
It's not so socially acceptable to be angsty at age 40.

6) Don't eat the chicken nuggets.

7) Your teachers will instantly become nicer to you when they're not your teachers anymore.

8) You will see them in the "real world." Be prepared.

9) Don't ever wear strapless dresses to a school dance. Unless you are absolutely positive you are not actually going to dance.

10) Don't ever wear jeans under skirts. You will become "that person."

11) Your high school relationship is going to end. Say it with me: Your high school relationship is going to end.

12) The "perfect" people who join a million clubs and get 5.0 GPAs are actually robots that will malfunction in fifteen years. Shhh, it's a secret.

13) Use the "I'm on my period" excuse as many times as possible during gym class. This is especially convenient for the swimming unit.

14) These are not the best four years of your life. The best four years of your life are when nobody tells you they are the best four years of your life.

15) Quoting Mean Girls constantly will help you through your high school years.

16) Stop trying to make "fetch" happen. It's not going to happen.

17) Drama is exciting in the moment, but you're going to feel really silly after spending a bajillion hours fighting over who has a rounder left eye. If you're itching for drama, write a play.

18) Nobody uses I-messages in conflict solving. This is when make-up sex comes in handy.
I'm totally kidding. You just buy the person you're fighting with something shiny and all will be forgotten.

19) Grad school is the new college.

20) So don't be surprised if you take burger orders once you're "free."

21) Unless your parents are millionaires, you probably won't be going to your dream school. Cost is probably the hugest factor in choosing a college.

Namaste.