Today's prompt is to talk about something a person said about me that I'll never forget.
Who wants to guess that I'm going to tell you two things?
Good job, young grasshopper.
The first thing happened last April, during my last trip at Shoshoni. Meitreya waited about three weeks to tell me this, but he had been thinking it since I had arrived. He told me I looked like a koala. At first I was a little, "what, why don't I look human?" But koalas are adorable, so I can deal.
The second thing was during my first semester of college. My English professor liked to switch the syllabus around in order to get us to really dive into learning how to write (freshman seminars: so slow, they will kill you). I normally did my homework for that class the weekend before it was due in order to get it out of the way. Reading the first third of Jane Eyre and writing a short response was on the syllabus for Thursday, so I emailed my prof a page of my thoughts on the book on Sunday. As I came into her office hours, she told me that I was "too conscientious" and that she didn't quite know what to do with me.
It's actually hatred of responsibility that gets me ahead in class, but y'know, let's pretend it's for more genuine purposes.
How about you lovely people? What are some things people have said about you?
Namaste.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Friday, May 24, 2013
Bad Company--Day 24
Welp, isn't today's prompt a fun one? My top three worst traits. Wheeee, there goes my ego, straight out the window.
Okay.
Maybe I should've tried to "sell myself" more a few weeks ago.
Should we just go with the fact that I'm too awesome? No?
1) I'm sensitive
This can be seen as a good trait--it's easy to tell when people are having a bad day, or when they're off-kilter, but it can also be like, "oh my god, you're wearing purple today...why do you hate me???". A lot of sensitivity comes from reading tone of voice incorrectly--same with facial expressions. There's a lot of firey, "let's-not-stop-to-sit-and-talk-about-our-feelings" kind of people, and the sensitive sort reads that as being cold. Sometimes sarcasm gets lost on the sensitives of the world.
2) I'm shy.
It's alright when I'm a shy introvert, but being a shy extrovert can be awfully painful. It's hard to want to make connections, to feel better when you're surrounded by people, but to not know how to make conversation, or how to stop looking like an idiot. The more public the place I'm in, the more timid I become.
3) I'm confrontational
I mean, I'm not aggressive about conflict, but I have trouble letting go an argument or misunderstanding. If I'm with a friend, and I bring them Brie cheese, and they're all "no no, I wanted Gouda," I'll want to talk about the mis-communication for the next week and how to avoid it. If there's the slightest of tiffs, I'm scribbling out ways to fix it.
Well, hey reader, it was nice talkin' to ya'. Stop by real soon; I'll make you a nice cup of "you-looked-at-me-funny-you-must-hate-me."
Can I redeem myself by saying I make chocolate chip cookies with thrice the amount of chocolate?
Here. Have a cyber-cookie.
Namaste.
Okay.
Maybe I should've tried to "sell myself" more a few weeks ago.
Should we just go with the fact that I'm too awesome? No?
1) I'm sensitive
This can be seen as a good trait--it's easy to tell when people are having a bad day, or when they're off-kilter, but it can also be like, "oh my god, you're wearing purple today...why do you hate me???". A lot of sensitivity comes from reading tone of voice incorrectly--same with facial expressions. There's a lot of firey, "let's-not-stop-to-sit-and-talk-about-our-feelings" kind of people, and the sensitive sort reads that as being cold. Sometimes sarcasm gets lost on the sensitives of the world.
2) I'm shy.
It's alright when I'm a shy introvert, but being a shy extrovert can be awfully painful. It's hard to want to make connections, to feel better when you're surrounded by people, but to not know how to make conversation, or how to stop looking like an idiot. The more public the place I'm in, the more timid I become.
3) I'm confrontational
I mean, I'm not aggressive about conflict, but I have trouble letting go an argument or misunderstanding. If I'm with a friend, and I bring them Brie cheese, and they're all "no no, I wanted Gouda," I'll want to talk about the mis-communication for the next week and how to avoid it. If there's the slightest of tiffs, I'm scribbling out ways to fix it.
Well, hey reader, it was nice talkin' to ya'. Stop by real soon; I'll make you a nice cup of "you-looked-at-me-funny-you-must-hate-me."
Can I redeem myself by saying I make chocolate chip cookies with thrice the amount of chocolate?
Here. Have a cyber-cookie.
Namaste.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
The Ten Minute Hug
So this is kind of a continuation of "Things that Make me uncomfortable." Some people tend to be very huggy. And touchy. Not "let's make out in the bushes" kind of touchy, but just "hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a ten minute hug!"
And that just makes me a wee bit uncomfortable.
I've never been that much of a touchy/feely person. Sure, my friends and I had cuddle fests during sleepovers, and I hug my mom, but I am not one to initiate physical contact of any sort.
Take that as you will.
Many times I get the reaction "oh, you don't like hugs? You must be colder than Iceland!" First off, Iceland is not very cold. And second, just because I don't send my arms soaring around someone's waist does not mean I don't care about them.
For the sake of this post, let's drop the whole "your body is a temple" act. If it's a temple, it's one creaky, weird, grumbly temple. If someone were to tell me they had missed me, I could still hide the fact that I'd missed lunch and that my stomach had the same tremor level as an earthquake. If your shoulder starts cracking and your throat starts doing the weird frog thing, it's gonna get awkward for both hugging parties pretty quickly.
And even if your stomach cooperates, your throat un-frogged, and your joints intact, the hug never ceases to be awkward. The long ones are the worst, noise-wise. The hug initiator will probably close her eyes and go "mmmmm."
I tend to save my "mmmmm"s for really delicious cookies.
So then you're stuck having to decide if you too should chime into the hum, or if that would make you sound too much like a terrible a Capella group. As for the eyes, open or closed? If the hugging partner closes her eyes, you're gonna feel like you're staring really creepily. But what if you close your eyes, and the other person makes some kind of facial cue that the hug should end? Then you enter the awkward(er) zone. And that's just not cool.
Might I just add that hugging someone of the opposite gender who is about the same height sometimes makes you want to die?...If you catch my drift.
But one thing that really gets me is the ten minute hugs between you and the person you saw yesterday. I'll accept the dramatic "I've missed you so much!" hugs, but like chocolate cake, they should be reserved for special occasions, if at all. Everyday ten-minute hugs, to me, are the equivalent of an overly needy boyfriend who gives you a box of chocolates every single day. It doesn't become special anymore. It turns into a "when is this gonna end?" kind of deal.
Not to mention physical contact is already ambiguous. Was the side hug because of a certain angle, or because that person didn't really want to touch you? Did he poke you with his finger because he was being silly, or flirting?
Sure, speech can be ambiguous, but generally, "hey, you're cool," or "I missed you" have pretty standard meanings.
And they take much less time to convey the message.
Namaste.
And that just makes me a wee bit uncomfortable.
I've never been that much of a touchy/feely person. Sure, my friends and I had cuddle fests during sleepovers, and I hug my mom, but I am not one to initiate physical contact of any sort.
Take that as you will.
Many times I get the reaction "oh, you don't like hugs? You must be colder than Iceland!" First off, Iceland is not very cold. And second, just because I don't send my arms soaring around someone's waist does not mean I don't care about them.
For the sake of this post, let's drop the whole "your body is a temple" act. If it's a temple, it's one creaky, weird, grumbly temple. If someone were to tell me they had missed me, I could still hide the fact that I'd missed lunch and that my stomach had the same tremor level as an earthquake. If your shoulder starts cracking and your throat starts doing the weird frog thing, it's gonna get awkward for both hugging parties pretty quickly.
And even if your stomach cooperates, your throat un-frogged, and your joints intact, the hug never ceases to be awkward. The long ones are the worst, noise-wise. The hug initiator will probably close her eyes and go "mmmmm."
I tend to save my "mmmmm"s for really delicious cookies.
So then you're stuck having to decide if you too should chime into the hum, or if that would make you sound too much like a terrible a Capella group. As for the eyes, open or closed? If the hugging partner closes her eyes, you're gonna feel like you're staring really creepily. But what if you close your eyes, and the other person makes some kind of facial cue that the hug should end? Then you enter the awkward(er) zone. And that's just not cool.
Might I just add that hugging someone of the opposite gender who is about the same height sometimes makes you want to die?...If you catch my drift.
But one thing that really gets me is the ten minute hugs between you and the person you saw yesterday. I'll accept the dramatic "I've missed you so much!" hugs, but like chocolate cake, they should be reserved for special occasions, if at all. Everyday ten-minute hugs, to me, are the equivalent of an overly needy boyfriend who gives you a box of chocolates every single day. It doesn't become special anymore. It turns into a "when is this gonna end?" kind of deal.
Not to mention physical contact is already ambiguous. Was the side hug because of a certain angle, or because that person didn't really want to touch you? Did he poke you with his finger because he was being silly, or flirting?
Sure, speech can be ambiguous, but generally, "hey, you're cool," or "I missed you" have pretty standard meanings.
And they take much less time to convey the message.
Namaste.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Stop Banning "I"--Day 23
Today's prompt is to talk about things I've learned that school won't teach you.
As an English major, this should be fun.
1) The word "utilize" should never be used. It sounds pompous and like you're sucking up to your teacher. Which is exactly what you're doing. So stop.
2) You can easily get past the internet blockers your school sets up.
3) No matter the format of an essay, the word "I" should not be banned. "I think," and "I believe," you can do without, but to completely eliminate "I"?
No. Just no.
4) You should not treat the 5-paragraph essay rule as your Bible.
Sure, 5 paragraphs are a good way to start out and get the basic idea of your essay, but in the real world, it doesn't matter how many paragraphs you have. It matters if you can transition between ideas and allow them to flow nicely.
5) Middle school is a time to be bitchy, hormonal, and weird. Embrace it. Revel in your angst. There's nothing worse than having held-up angst that you are forced to let go when you're 40.
It's not so socially acceptable to be angsty at age 40.
6) Don't eat the chicken nuggets.
7) Your teachers will instantly become nicer to you when they're not your teachers anymore.
8) You will see them in the "real world." Be prepared.
9) Don't ever wear strapless dresses to a school dance. Unless you are absolutely positive you are not actually going to dance.
10) Don't ever wear jeans under skirts. You will become "that person."
11) Your high school relationship is going to end. Say it with me: Your high school relationship is going to end.
12) The "perfect" people who join a million clubs and get 5.0 GPAs are actually robots that will malfunction in fifteen years. Shhh, it's a secret.
13) Use the "I'm on my period" excuse as many times as possible during gym class. This is especially convenient for the swimming unit.
14) These are not the best four years of your life. The best four years of your life are when nobody tells you they are the best four years of your life.
15) Quoting Mean Girls constantly will help you through your high school years.
16) Stop trying to make "fetch" happen. It's not going to happen.
17) Drama is exciting in the moment, but you're going to feel really silly after spending a bajillion hours fighting over who has a rounder left eye. If you're itching for drama, write a play.
18) Nobody uses I-messages in conflict solving. This is when make-up sex comes in handy.
I'm totally kidding. You just buy the person you're fighting with something shiny and all will be forgotten.
19) Grad school is the new college.
20) So don't be surprised if you take burger orders once you're "free."
21) Unless your parents are millionaires, you probably won't be going to your dream school. Cost is probably the hugest factor in choosing a college.
Namaste.
As an English major, this should be fun.
1) The word "utilize" should never be used. It sounds pompous and like you're sucking up to your teacher. Which is exactly what you're doing. So stop.
2) You can easily get past the internet blockers your school sets up.
3) No matter the format of an essay, the word "I" should not be banned. "I think," and "I believe," you can do without, but to completely eliminate "I"?
No. Just no.
4) You should not treat the 5-paragraph essay rule as your Bible.
Sure, 5 paragraphs are a good way to start out and get the basic idea of your essay, but in the real world, it doesn't matter how many paragraphs you have. It matters if you can transition between ideas and allow them to flow nicely.
5) Middle school is a time to be bitchy, hormonal, and weird. Embrace it. Revel in your angst. There's nothing worse than having held-up angst that you are forced to let go when you're 40.
It's not so socially acceptable to be angsty at age 40.
6) Don't eat the chicken nuggets.
7) Your teachers will instantly become nicer to you when they're not your teachers anymore.
8) You will see them in the "real world." Be prepared.
9) Don't ever wear strapless dresses to a school dance. Unless you are absolutely positive you are not actually going to dance.
10) Don't ever wear jeans under skirts. You will become "that person."
11) Your high school relationship is going to end. Say it with me: Your high school relationship is going to end.
12) The "perfect" people who join a million clubs and get 5.0 GPAs are actually robots that will malfunction in fifteen years. Shhh, it's a secret.
13) Use the "I'm on my period" excuse as many times as possible during gym class. This is especially convenient for the swimming unit.
14) These are not the best four years of your life. The best four years of your life are when nobody tells you they are the best four years of your life.
15) Quoting Mean Girls constantly will help you through your high school years.
16) Stop trying to make "fetch" happen. It's not going to happen.
17) Drama is exciting in the moment, but you're going to feel really silly after spending a bajillion hours fighting over who has a rounder left eye. If you're itching for drama, write a play.
18) Nobody uses I-messages in conflict solving. This is when make-up sex comes in handy.
I'm totally kidding. You just buy the person you're fighting with something shiny and all will be forgotten.
19) Grad school is the new college.
20) So don't be surprised if you take burger orders once you're "free."
21) Unless your parents are millionaires, you probably won't be going to your dream school. Cost is probably the hugest factor in choosing a college.
Namaste.
Ayurveda, Explained: A Conversation With Vatas, Pittas and Kaphas
When you immerse yourself in a yogic practice, you'll probably hear quite a bit about Ayurveda. And then you'll want to stock up on Kombocha at Whole Foods.
Okay, maybe not. I know my reaction to this practice was "is that some kind of disease?"
Au contraire, oh internet friend. Ayurveda is a form of alternative medicine that uses doshas to determine what exercise regime/diet/cat is best for you.
I may or may not be serious about the cat thing.
Doshas constitute a person's "type." It's kind of like the Myers-Briggs personality test, except with less vague questions about how you think about humankind and its destiny. Doshas typically incorporate the physical body as well as the mind.
So what do these Doshas mean?
I'm going to illustrate these types with a lovely dialogue between Darth Vatar (a vata--and yes, I intentionally rearranged the lettering), Pitta Patter and Mr. Good Kap (a Kapha).
On exercise:
Darth Vatar: Ooh, I want to jump on the trampoline! No, wait--I've got a better idea! Let's go rock climbing! Can we go exploring? I know the--hey, are we lost?
Pitta Patter: Here's our plan: We're gonna go on a short five hour hike, but we really have to raise the intensity when we climb. I was thinking Everest this afternoon.
Good Kap: If I watch you run around, does that count as exercise?
On free time:
Darth Vatar: I've got some crayons, some paints, ten writing prompts, a sewing kit, some markers, and a book of guitar lessons. Do you think that will be enough for this afternoon?
Pitta Patter: I'm gonna clean the entire house, then our neighbor's house, then I'm gonna run on the treadmill for two hours, and if there's time, I'll fix that whole world hunger deal.
Good Kap: Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
On anger:
Darth Vatar: [Bursts into tears] I'm sorry! I'll never be annoying for as long as I live! Don't hate me! I just want us to all be friends.
Pitta Patter: How dare you be so annoying! If you just saw how much you sit around and wait for me to do all the work! You pig-headed, pickle-brained newt!
Good Kap: Let's just all take a breather and cool down in our rooms. We'll talk it out later.
On sleep:
Darth Vatar: I counted five million sheep and I still can't sleep. I haven't slept in ten years.
Pitta Patter: Well, I got my full ten minutes of sleep.
Good Kap: Close your eyes and put your head on the pillow. Remain unconscious for twelve hours and repeat.
On work:
Darth Vatar: I was a teacher once, but then I moved on to become a painter for a month, then I joined the circus, but I'm thinking of moving to Timbuktu and becoming a contortionist.
Pitta Patter: I am a professional rhetorician. I can persuade the hell out of anyone.
Good Kap: I work a 9-5 office job and love it! Mmm, smells like bad office coffee and routine.
You can find out what dosha you are here or here
You may find you are bi-dosha or even tri-dosha. It's common to be one dosha in body and the other in mind.
Namaste.
Okay, maybe not. I know my reaction to this practice was "is that some kind of disease?"
Au contraire, oh internet friend. Ayurveda is a form of alternative medicine that uses doshas to determine what exercise regime/diet/cat is best for you.
I may or may not be serious about the cat thing.
Doshas constitute a person's "type." It's kind of like the Myers-Briggs personality test, except with less vague questions about how you think about humankind and its destiny. Doshas typically incorporate the physical body as well as the mind.
So what do these Doshas mean?
I'm going to illustrate these types with a lovely dialogue between Darth Vatar (a vata--and yes, I intentionally rearranged the lettering), Pitta Patter and Mr. Good Kap (a Kapha).
On exercise:
Darth Vatar: Ooh, I want to jump on the trampoline! No, wait--I've got a better idea! Let's go rock climbing! Can we go exploring? I know the--hey, are we lost?
Pitta Patter: Here's our plan: We're gonna go on a short five hour hike, but we really have to raise the intensity when we climb. I was thinking Everest this afternoon.
Good Kap: If I watch you run around, does that count as exercise?
On free time:
Darth Vatar: I've got some crayons, some paints, ten writing prompts, a sewing kit, some markers, and a book of guitar lessons. Do you think that will be enough for this afternoon?
Pitta Patter: I'm gonna clean the entire house, then our neighbor's house, then I'm gonna run on the treadmill for two hours, and if there's time, I'll fix that whole world hunger deal.
Good Kap: Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
On anger:
Darth Vatar: [Bursts into tears] I'm sorry! I'll never be annoying for as long as I live! Don't hate me! I just want us to all be friends.
Pitta Patter: How dare you be so annoying! If you just saw how much you sit around and wait for me to do all the work! You pig-headed, pickle-brained newt!
Good Kap: Let's just all take a breather and cool down in our rooms. We'll talk it out later.
On sleep:
Darth Vatar: I counted five million sheep and I still can't sleep. I haven't slept in ten years.
Pitta Patter: Well, I got my full ten minutes of sleep.
Good Kap: Close your eyes and put your head on the pillow. Remain unconscious for twelve hours and repeat.
On work:
Darth Vatar: I was a teacher once, but then I moved on to become a painter for a month, then I joined the circus, but I'm thinking of moving to Timbuktu and becoming a contortionist.
Pitta Patter: I am a professional rhetorician. I can persuade the hell out of anyone.
Good Kap: I work a 9-5 office job and love it! Mmm, smells like bad office coffee and routine.
You may find you are bi-dosha or even tri-dosha. It's common to be one dosha in body and the other in mind.
Namaste.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Day 22--Annoying Facebookers (hint: it's all of us)
So is this blog going to seem petty and whiny to some? Probably. Is it also going to make the utmost sense?
You bet your ass it will.
Today's prompt is the perfect for how I'm feeling: Rant about something. Anything at all. I do love a good opportunity to rant, particularly about facebookers who annoy me.
Am I one of these Facebookers? Yes. Remember how I told you about my addiction--we'll get over this self-indulgent mess together.
The Facebooker that by far annoys me the most is the vague status-er. I mean, if one's vague status was ever "I have surprise for all my facebook friends," then they presented some Godiva chocolate to all their 5,000 friends, that would be awesome. But the vague status is either "I'm happy because some mystery guy called me pretty," or "you broke my heart, you crushed my soul, la la la isn't adolescence great?"
And how many of these social networking friends are you actually going to call up and be able to talk to in farther detail?
Which begs the question: How many other social networking friends actually care?
One of the goals of Facebook is to connect with people you haven't seen in a while. With the older generation steadily making their way onto Facebook, you're really letting your entire extended family know every single detail. But if you went to see your Great Aunt Edna in person and she asked you what was new in life, would you break down and be all "this guy [sob] l--likes another girl! My life is over!!!"?
Some family reunion that would be.
The vague status-er also enjoys the improper use of "you." They fail to realize that their entire facebook audience becomes "you" once they've read this status.
If that were the case, I would've broken a lot more hearts than I've actually known. I've also gotten told off by a lot of people I've said like two words to.
"Hey you, yes you, stop giving me shit" probably makes sense to about 1% of the statuser's Facebook population. If you're going to be outraged by something a certain person did and you need to put it in the written word, get a journal. Better yet, click on that person's name and write on their wall.
Being vague does not make you cool. I guarantee you, it will make 99.999999% of your Facebook friends roll their eyes and wonder what the hell they're still doing on their news feed.
Oftentimes, the vague status-er uses song lyrics to show how terrible his life is. While I see some awesome Beatles song lyrics every now and then, more often my news feed becomes flooded with Taylor Swift, Nickleback, and other generic pop music. Thousands of different song lyrics boil down to three basic messages:
1) I'm so depressed. Can't you see how depressed I am? Nobody cares. I'm all alone. But I'm gonna be in your face about how alone I am, so everyone can pity me.
2) I'm happy, so happy, life is beautiful, kittens and rainbows and hormones that are going through the roof because that attractive person would like to be mutual face-lickers.
3) I don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks, nobody should give a fuck about what I think, let's just pretend this whole emotion thing never happened, shall we?
But far worse than Facebook personalities is Facebook times.
Let's give election season a long look, shall we?
I'm all for being informed. I'd love to see some articles about the candidates' strategies, and even some well-crafted opinion pieces never hurt anyone. A few memes poking fun at both parties is worth a good laugh. But "Obama sucks" or "down with Romney," is just petty and you're going to offend at least half of your online audience.
I've lost track of how many "YES!" or "I'm moving to Canada"s or "Is America stupid?"s I've seen post-election.
Other times to avoid: Whenever there's snow, rain, heat, a holiday, when everyone is waking up, when it's 2:00A.M. and everyone's wondering why they're still awake.
Or when you're bored. For the love of pizza, why is "I'm bored, text?" still a thing?
If you want to text someone, grab your phone, and text them!
My goodness.
And while you're bored, how is snapping photos of yourself in the most flattering light going to change that?
Okay. Stahp. I know I've done this so many times. I'm particularly bad when it comes to "what is my hair?" pictures.
It's cool when someone's at the Grand Canyon or somewhere equally exotic and they'd like to share their adventures, but duck facing while you're getting ready for work?
I do that every day while I'm putting on mascara (yes, I put mascara on with my mouth closed). Everybody has a "getting ready to go out" routine. Everyone is equally bored by it.
I won't be surprised when I see teeth-brushing pictures on Facebook. It's gonna happen.
On that note, there are some good Facebookers out there. Inspirational quotes are a fun thing. I've learned a lot about current events from informed Facebook friends.
Oh, and I can see ridiculous chat conversations me and my best friend have:
"I AM NOT GETTING YOU PUDDING FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!"
So that's a thing.
Namaste.
You bet your ass it will.
Today's prompt is the perfect for how I'm feeling: Rant about something. Anything at all. I do love a good opportunity to rant, particularly about facebookers who annoy me.
Am I one of these Facebookers? Yes. Remember how I told you about my addiction--we'll get over this self-indulgent mess together.
The Facebooker that by far annoys me the most is the vague status-er. I mean, if one's vague status was ever "I have surprise for all my facebook friends," then they presented some Godiva chocolate to all their 5,000 friends, that would be awesome. But the vague status is either "I'm happy because some mystery guy called me pretty," or "you broke my heart, you crushed my soul, la la la isn't adolescence great?"
And how many of these social networking friends are you actually going to call up and be able to talk to in farther detail?
Which begs the question: How many other social networking friends actually care?
One of the goals of Facebook is to connect with people you haven't seen in a while. With the older generation steadily making their way onto Facebook, you're really letting your entire extended family know every single detail. But if you went to see your Great Aunt Edna in person and she asked you what was new in life, would you break down and be all "this guy [sob] l--likes another girl! My life is over!!!"?
Some family reunion that would be.
The vague status-er also enjoys the improper use of "you." They fail to realize that their entire facebook audience becomes "you" once they've read this status.
If that were the case, I would've broken a lot more hearts than I've actually known. I've also gotten told off by a lot of people I've said like two words to.
"Hey you, yes you, stop giving me shit" probably makes sense to about 1% of the statuser's Facebook population. If you're going to be outraged by something a certain person did and you need to put it in the written word, get a journal. Better yet, click on that person's name and write on their wall.
Being vague does not make you cool. I guarantee you, it will make 99.999999% of your Facebook friends roll their eyes and wonder what the hell they're still doing on their news feed.
Oftentimes, the vague status-er uses song lyrics to show how terrible his life is. While I see some awesome Beatles song lyrics every now and then, more often my news feed becomes flooded with Taylor Swift, Nickleback, and other generic pop music. Thousands of different song lyrics boil down to three basic messages:
1) I'm so depressed. Can't you see how depressed I am? Nobody cares. I'm all alone. But I'm gonna be in your face about how alone I am, so everyone can pity me.
2) I'm happy, so happy, life is beautiful, kittens and rainbows and hormones that are going through the roof because that attractive person would like to be mutual face-lickers.
3) I don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks, nobody should give a fuck about what I think, let's just pretend this whole emotion thing never happened, shall we?
But far worse than Facebook personalities is Facebook times.
Let's give election season a long look, shall we?
I'm all for being informed. I'd love to see some articles about the candidates' strategies, and even some well-crafted opinion pieces never hurt anyone. A few memes poking fun at both parties is worth a good laugh. But "Obama sucks" or "down with Romney," is just petty and you're going to offend at least half of your online audience.
I've lost track of how many "YES!" or "I'm moving to Canada"s or "Is America stupid?"s I've seen post-election.
Other times to avoid: Whenever there's snow, rain, heat, a holiday, when everyone is waking up, when it's 2:00A.M. and everyone's wondering why they're still awake.
Or when you're bored. For the love of pizza, why is "I'm bored, text?" still a thing?
If you want to text someone, grab your phone, and text them!
My goodness.
And while you're bored, how is snapping photos of yourself in the most flattering light going to change that?
Okay. Stahp. I know I've done this so many times. I'm particularly bad when it comes to "what is my hair?" pictures.
It's cool when someone's at the Grand Canyon or somewhere equally exotic and they'd like to share their adventures, but duck facing while you're getting ready for work?
I do that every day while I'm putting on mascara (yes, I put mascara on with my mouth closed). Everybody has a "getting ready to go out" routine. Everyone is equally bored by it.
I won't be surprised when I see teeth-brushing pictures on Facebook. It's gonna happen.
On that note, there are some good Facebookers out there. Inspirational quotes are a fun thing. I've learned a lot about current events from informed Facebook friends.
Oh, and I can see ridiculous chat conversations me and my best friend have:
"THIS BOOK IS A DISASTER
It's more than a disaster
it makes disasters turn away in shame
and tell all their disaster children never to stoop down so low as this book
this book
is what disasters eat for dinner
this book is the pins disasters knock down when they go bowling together
this book
is what disasters wear when it's laundry day
OOH i think i have a poem here!"
"I AM NOT GETTING YOU PUDDING FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!"
So that's a thing.
Namaste.
These are a few of my Favorite Things--Day 21
Today's prompt is to list some of my favorite posts from my archive. For the sake of not being repetitively redundant, I won't link any from the Blog Every Day in May challenge.
The Manly Razor, The Feminine Chainsaw
This is one of my most adamantly feminist posts. It was one of the clearest moments in which I saw college affecting me--I was surprised to see myself thinking critically in a CVS.
2) I've Got Some Beef With Socrates
This was another one of my more college-y blogs. I like to think analytically while adding some humor in there. I still do disagree with Socrates, though not so angrily.
3) The Ballad of the Semicolon
This is something every student should learn. Just saying.
4) Gym Class Hasn't Changed
This one was by far the most viewed post. But it's so true--in college, the gym is still terrifying, it's still sweaty, and it still smells like feet.
5) The Butterfinger Butterfly
This post originated from my friend Keri (she has a blog too--The 2013 Machine) and I being silly. It still cracks me up to think about it.
Namaste.
The Manly Razor, The Feminine Chainsaw
This is one of my most adamantly feminist posts. It was one of the clearest moments in which I saw college affecting me--I was surprised to see myself thinking critically in a CVS.
2) I've Got Some Beef With Socrates
This was another one of my more college-y blogs. I like to think analytically while adding some humor in there. I still do disagree with Socrates, though not so angrily.
3) The Ballad of the Semicolon
This is something every student should learn. Just saying.
4) Gym Class Hasn't Changed
This one was by far the most viewed post. But it's so true--in college, the gym is still terrifying, it's still sweaty, and it still smells like feet.
5) The Butterfinger Butterfly
This post originated from my friend Keri (she has a blog too--The 2013 Machine) and I being silly. It still cracks me up to think about it.
Namaste.
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