Sluts on Halloween

So it's that time of the year, when we start trying to become something we aren't...okay, perhaps that's every day, but every Halloween, everyone goes nuts over outwardly expressing their distaste for normalcy and starts throwing on some Batman suits, fuzzy cat costumes, and Harry Potter glasses.

...Or this is how it should be. But rather than getting creative with fun personas and disguises, people seem to view Halloween as to throw off all their clothes, and pose as a practically naked person. Let me rephrase: They pose as a practically naked person for whom it is socially acceptable to be that way. Because, let's be real here, if I left it at the first definition, every freaking weekend would be Halloween. It's a sad world when it's lame to go as a horse, and exciting to go as whores.

Chyeah, that took me five solid minutes to come up with. Win.

I know there's another side to this. Jenna Marbles does a fair job explaining why sluts on Halloween throw off a large portion of their clothes:

But let me ask you something, who gets more candy: Kids who dress as adorable pumpkins, well-dressed cats, and superheros, or skanky playboy bunnies? I don't know about you, but I'd much rather have a month's supply of Snicker's bars and M&Ms than some STD and one mother-fricker of a hangover.

I've found the length of time that you can respect a woman to correlate with the length of her skirt. Think about it. Long skirts are elegant, well designed, and also really really fun to twirl around in. Short skirts kinda fall limp, just like the conversation you're having with the short-skirt wearer. The more traditional costumed may not get the most attention at that next big Halloween bash, but I'm a firm believer that that the slutty Hallowen-goers get attention at the beginning of the night because they're flashy and have a gazillion extra bucks to spend on a measly piece of cloth.

Sure, it's fun to act uninhibited on Halloween, but you can still do that without your boobs falling out all over the place. Plus, isn't half the fun in getting creative with your costume ideas? Why let a consumerist, "let's not respect women" store take the fun out of it?

I mean, hell, I'm going as a hippie. And you can't buy "namaste" and a go-with-the-flow aura at the same store that sells lacy black bras and cat ears.

Namaste.