Imprisoned by an essay

I know it would seem I have less than enough homework, seeing as a new blog pops up every two seconds. While it's a fair conclusion to jump to, let me assure you that I do have homework, and I am not a typical procrastinator, except when my assignments are so freakishly formulaic I feel like I'm in the fifth grade. College has its moments of freedom, when I'm stricken by the realization that in my free time I don't have to slouch in a stuffy room with a bunch of identical desks and a teacher whose intellect is slowly being wasted away by spitballs and "that's what she said jokes." Sure, it's great to not have curfews, to decide what I want to eat for dinner and to not have to ask when I can hang out with friends, but the one freedom I am not feeling is in my education.

I don't mind putting in the extra work for complex readings, blog posts, and challenging tests. But it was my English teacher who said--and I quote--"you are supposed to feel liberated in your writing." Then she goes and tells us we have to pick a single word, find all the instances that word was mentioned in our book of choice, and create a word-web based off it. I don't know about you, but the last time I made a word web I was trying not to kill my Tamagotchi (remember those things?) and chasing my schoolmates around the tire swing. Starting with the small and ending with the big is good advice for some essays, but if you have a vision of an enticing first paragraph that brings up large points that you can easily warrant in later paragraphs, is it really fair to fail that vision because it's not exactly the way you dreamt it? Maybe everyone's feeling all liberated and whatnot because they can finally use the word "I" in formal papers, but I am not fooled--oh, no. People in my class claimed that they spit out formulaic essays so that they could get the grade, and our professor pshaw-ed and huffed at such a notion. Then she does the exact same thing that she said was ridiculous, only she added "you should be feeling free right now." Does she think we're easily brainwashed enough to believe we're free because we're told there's no other way to write?

Okay, I get it--forced experimentation. But in attempts to break us outside the box, we're shoved back in it. I think that as educated adults, we can be trusted to experiment with our writing voices the way we want to. So maybe I'm not "stifled" by my house anymore (though I never really was--ah the joys of living with former hippies ;) ) but I'm imprisoned by my English essay.

On a lighter note, this is what a Tamagotchi looks like, in case you were wondering:

Namaste.