So in hopes of feeling all healthy and centered and balanced, I decided to attend one of the yoga classes that was advertised in the fitness center schedule. I figured it was late enough at night that it wouldn't attract a crowd, but early enough that I wouldn't lose all hope of ever sleeping again ("don't take pictures of yourself in the laundry room" you retort, and to you I say..."touché, my friend"). But here's a little fact about yoga that people in the '90's didn't have to deal with: ever since Jillian Michaels started down dog-ing and sporting tree pose, it's become madly popular. Even 45 minute chants won't stop the fitness inclined.
The whole expecting a little group of yogis thing? Yeah, I was dreadfully wrong. I don't think I've ever seen a line that big in my life--and yes, I'm counting the Harry Potter premiere. Apparently learning how to breathe has become more of a fad in our campus culture than wizards and witches galore. If Snape ever taught a yoga class, we'd be in a line for the rest of our lives. Never having entered the White Building before (seeing as I'm afraid of sweat and all), I had no idea where the class was being held, so in desperate hopes to look like I was fitting in, I found a group of girls who holding yoga mats, and plopped down next to them. They did that whole eyebrow raised "is she for real?" look that friends tend to do, and of them--I'm guessing she was the leader of their little charade--took the plunge to talk to this idiot (me).
"You know, this is the front of the line." I thought only popsicles could drip, but her voice was a waterfall of condescension.
My tired, delirious brain decided that "front" equaled "place you are supposed to sit at if you are the last person to come to a yoga class." I gave an equally perturbed look and began to stretch. Maybe they were just jealous of my super cool bandana. Or they thought I was an alien from the '60's. Whatever the case, I couldn't possibly have been in the wrong spot!
Well, friends, it's not always the section of the line that's closest to the entrance that the stragglers can wait at. The moment the teacher shuffled us into the classroom and I registered that "front" of line did not actually mean the beginning, it was too late, I was unfolding my yoga mat and guilt all over the wooden floor. So, person whose spot I took tonight in class, I am terribly sorry. I'd be happy to offer you a coffee, or a frying pan that you can beat me over the head with.
On the same note, subjects of mockery are people too. Maybe spastic people who are chock full of blond moments, but we're not maliciously trying to win our way to the front of the line. Sometimes we just need that yoga class that we've unjustly wrangled our way to in order to straighten some things out.
As far as how the class went? Who knew that "peace, serenity, "push it," and "feel the burn" could all fit nicely into one sentence? You learn something new every day.
Namaste.
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