For the love of sweatpants

I am one of the many Penn State-ers who adore sweatpants. I have an entire collection of peace sign sweatpants, smiley face sweats, and the ever popular PSU sweatpants that have paw prints on the ass. They are comfy, cozy, and perfect for State College's rainy days. And yet, my friends, sweatpants have the unfair accusation of not being real clothes. I know--I am just as shocked as you are. Not to diss jeans, since I'm a denim appreciator as much as anyone (okay, that's a lie, I kinda want to diss jeans). But sweats have their moments too, and I would devour them if I could (except not, because, y'know, that would be just gross).

And without further ado, here are the reasons in which sweatpants have a strong hold over jeans:

1) When was the last time you had cute, fuzzy animals on your jeans?
...I thought so. Jeans are pretty much all the same. Yeah, you can have skinny jeans, flare, boyfriend cut (why the hell is it called that anyway??) and for those of you who want to reminisce over the good old days of the 1970s, there's the ever popular bell-bottom jeans. But sweatpants can range from monkey print, to Hello Kitty, to armadillos. Okay, I've never actually seen armadillos on pants, but that is beside the point. There's no better to bring out your inner kid than having crocodiles on your calves. I mean, even Steve Irwin thought so. You can get creative and diverse with your leg wear, rather than the same old "blend in with the sea of blue and white" denim.

2) The fuzziness--oh, the fuzziness.
Seriously, it's like drinking a cup of hot chocolate on your legs. I don't know how they do it, but after an hour in fuzzy sweats, it's like taking a bath in amazingness.

3) You don't have to run around like a rabbit on crack
Okay, maybe you still do if you want to get to your classes on time. But the whole idea of wearing "gym" clothes, then "present yourself to the world" clothes, only to run back into comfy pants is exhausting. Whoever says you can't go out in public in sweats is living in a dream world where everyone works at Ralph Lauren. You can stay in one pair of pants to jam out to Green Day on a stationary bike, then race to your econ class, and then to play cards with your friends in an overcrowded dorm. One pair. Not twelve. Judging by the jeans I've seen around campus, sweats are actually way more appropriate. Which brings me to my next point.

4) It is absolutely impossible to whale-tail in sweatpants.
Whale-tailing, as my friend taught me a few weeks ago, is when your pants ride down and you end up showing your thong. Jeans have the pesky habit of sliding down so that those who sit behind you regret ever having chosen that spot. I admit I've been victim to the humiliation of whale-tailing, and even worse, showing the world that it's laundry day and cute underwear is only a concept in my world. But everything's all nicely covered up in sweats, and the monkey print and whale-tails don't have to fight each other to the death. All will be good with the world.

Sweats are pants too, people. Remember that. 

Namaste.