Text Speak: Is Technology Bringing us Down?

Being a '90's baby, I have a full appreciation for technology. I've grown addicted to Tumblr. I check facebook as though it's the news (and the news as though it were as important as facebook--first world problems). It's nice to constantly be connected with your friends; if it weren't for video chat, I probably would've had my own personal soap opera during my first five months at college and been all

"WHY, CHANGE, WHY? WHY MUST YOU HAPPEN TO ME??"

Which is a kind of strange first impression to give to your roommate.

So in a lot of ways, I couldn't live without technology. But then there's these "new, hip" inventions that bring us back to where we started. Take voice text messaging, for instance. Basically, you record yourself saying a certain message, you send it to your friend, said friend listens, and records their voice in return.

It's like futuristic text messaging, is it not?

No. It's like a phone call. In fact, it would save more time and more button pushing if you just called that person up, and your exchange of pleasantries would sound a lot less like "oh fuck it, what does this button do again?"

And then there's comments. My father once noted that I had a few comments on a blog post, and, being the English professor that he is, assumed that they would be well thought out "here is my feedback and suggestions for improvement" type comments. Instead, he found "first," "what's a landshark," and "I don't believe in nature." While it's true that providing comments is more easily accessible, it makes the feedback less meaningful and more inside joke-y.

Even technology that is clearly progressive makes me wonder if it is for our own good. My family was discussing the usefulness of land lines and chord phones and I was all "my fingers are allergic to buttons." While I used to heartily accept the fact that landlines would soon go extinct (it'll save a heck of a lot of money when I get an apartment next year and have to live off Easy Mac), I've started to realize that with chord phones, you could be assured that the person you were calling was actually paying attention to your words. Even if your phone was in your kitchen, you couldn't start cooking a pot of spaghetti because 1) you spent your grocery fund on sparkly earrings again and 2) you would get twisted up in the chord until you strangled yourself and there's nothing like death to put a damper on your karaoke night.

Remember when karaoke nights were a thing? Yeah, me neither.

But now, with iPhones, that phone call is the last thing on your mind. I remember when I first got my iPhone I became boss at Angry Birds before I even learned how to use that keypad and dial a phone number. But if I did, for some ungodly reason, have to speak on the phone, I could be beating those pigs with vengeful birds and no one would even know. My friend could be sobbing about her breakup, and my "you dick, why won't you die?!" could be misconstrued for sympathy hate.

And I mean, even if you are focusing on talking to your friend, no one actually holds their phone to their ear. You should see people walking in between classes. You've got their headphones in, you're yelling "no, mom, I did not get a C on my exam!" and everyone else is just looking at you like you've lost your mind.

I wonder if all the professors here think we're schizophrenic.

Namaste.