Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Sex, Misery and French Toast Sticks

First off, might I suggest that would be a fantastic band name?

Glad you're coming with me on that one.

So you're probably wondering how I could possibly link misery to sex, because who could possibly have a terrible experience with intercourse, right?

Wrong. Wrong. Oh so very wrong.

But I'm not here to lecture you about rape. I'm here to link sex and misery because they are both free (not counting prostitution here). Emotionally, they are very taxing. But it's the end of April, we we're free to stop thinking about taxes for a while.

The dining commons had a "late night study break," which my roommate dragged me to because one does not know when one will meet with French toast sticks again. I begrudgingly got my plate of strawberries, and my roommate was all, "see? How often does an adult get free strawberries?"

To which I replied, "the only thing adults get for free are sex and misery."

I mean, even taxes aren't technically free. You have to be an employed member of society to pay taxes. But you could be a bum off the street and no one's keeping you from grinding anyone.

I'm writing this at 1A.M. I'm probably going to regret this.

But why do you think teenagers are notorious for the "sex in the back of the car" thing? Obviously it's because they either A) live in a crap town where you can't do anything for entertainment, or B) you're broke as a...broken window.

Again. 1A.M.

We should just force kids to watch porn in school so that it seems like some mentally taxing assignment and everything will be all fine and dandy.

SARCASM, in case you were wondering.

But yeah, welcome to adulthood. Sex and misery. Woot.

Namaste.

No comments:

Post a Comment