In defense of puns

Friends, I have a problem. An addiction, really (besides the whole pudding addiction, which I am quitting cold turkey).

I am a punny person.

Now, normally I would be outraged at this title, mostly because it sounds like people are saying I'm puny. But it's come to my attention that most of the world thinks puns are ridiculous and stupid. I've seen many an eye roll at puns, and apparently it's not witty and clever to tell someone who's taking a class on Amish culture that "hmm, something is a-mish."

The quality of puns are sadly underestimated, perhaps it's because they're considered a terribly dad-like thing to do. But it's hard to think on your feet and give zingy one liners like that! A joke with a story line gives you time to think, to plan in what intonation you will deliver the punch line. Granted, it also gives you more room to go, "no wait, wait, that's not right, hold on, the chicken ate the duck, and then he threw up...no, that's not right either..."

But, let me tell you, a pun doesn't give you room to say "I will have something witty to say in response to that, just give me a minute." If someone says they wear shower shows to avoid fungi, you are allowed no lag time before saying, "I'd much rather shower alone, no matter how fun that guy is." 'Cause if you think that joke is stupid, try it with a pause in between.

Makes you shed a tear, doesn't it?

Many jokes are exclusive--you've got your inside jokes that "you've just had to be there for" (what is it about inside jokes that always end up being told in public?), the generational jokes, then those obscure jokes that all the intellectuals can snicker at. Puns are purely inclusive. Even that twelve year old you aren't sure how to talk to at the family reunion can laugh without feeling the horrid generational gap. I think everyone in the family would feel more relaxed and able to break the ice when Billy, Bob, or Joe asks Auntie Anne (who absolutely despises pretzels) to pass the cheese, and she replies, "no, because it's nacho cheese!"

It's not a sign of weakness to laugh at puns--unless you're perfecting the ultimate eye roll. In which case, you'll gain that skill at age thirteen, promptly forget it, then laugh at puns when you're supposed to be filing taxes and whatnot.

Namaste.