Come to the dark side, we have cookies there

Let's face it, nerds have a bad rep. We've been called socially awkward, too book-ish, and sporting what can best be described as Hermione Granger haircuts. But let me interrupt my readings of my English 15 textbook to tell you why becoming a nerd is not nearly as horrendous as it was a generation or two ago. People may be put off by our confusion of real life with D & D characters, or our bursting out into song in hopes of turning every day activities into one giant musical, but we're not crazy. Honestly. Okay, we're a little crazy, but not in the way a creepy uncle or, y'know our former leader of this country would be.We're eccentric, yes, but only in ways that are both awesome, and where we won't black out halfway through the night. It's a win-win situation.
There are countless moments when the nerd clot (our official title, as any sophisticated group may posses) act highly intoxicated, and will do things just as silly and ridiculous as a drunk person. But we are not drunk; we are, in fact, trunk--drunk off of tiredness. Through a trunk state, Britney Spears songs have been sung downtown. Cabbage Patching has been involved. Maria got a pet snail in this state. Great things happen in "trunkeness," and we will actually remember them for years to come.

*INSERT CLEVER AND WELL THOUGHT OUT TRANSITION HERE. OR, JUST GO GRAB A SNACK. COULD YOU MAKE ME SOME COFFEE WHILE YOU'RE AT IT?*

I wasn't yelling at you, I promise. But everything looks more epic and well-intentioned in all-caps, don't you think? Now that you're with me, and bringing a cappuccino I so politely requested, let's move on. I think everybody has a secret desire to run around a giant soccer field with a sword and a silly accent. In high school, shit happens where you just want to forget who you are and what you've done, but not in an amnesiac way. More like an alter ego way. You could join the drama club, but that would require memorizing a slew of lines and getting past the serious actorrrrrrs (insert British accent here) who have been quoting Shakespeare since they were in the womb. No, Hipsters have got that covered, thank you very much. We have a Renaissance Faire, where women can be wenches and men can be sexist pigs. You know what, this is starting to sound like regular high school. Let me try again. You can learn new skills such as sewing, improvisation acting, and giant pickle eating. That wasn't a euphemism. You really can accomplish great pickle eating in RenFaire. And c'mon, where else is it socially acceptable to call someone "a bloody-toed newt" and throw giant wooden sticks at them? Prison, maybe. But that's just absurd to have to kill someone or steal some Snicker's bars just to get your aggression out. The nerd clot has found the way, and with epic costumes and cookies, too. So come join us. And remember, nerds will rule the world someday.
...SO BEWARE.

   












We may not look intimidating with the whole not being able to breathe deal, but a girl can throw some punches in such a dress. Or, swords rather.