On top of that, when talking with a teacher at Yoga Lab, she stated that one of the reasons the founders started the studio was in order to offer classes that focused on foundational physical cues, posture, and alignment. Given my newfound appreciation for foundation over exhaustion, I signed up for the "rise and shine" class at Yoga Lab.
After doing yoga for 9 days, I've found that despite being out of my comfort zone, I look forward to yoga classes. I know that I will feel invigorated and refreshed both during and after class. I've grown a fondness for shaking arms and legs as I feel myself getting stronger physically, and subsequently mentally (turns out that mind-body connection that everyone has been on about is really a thing). In noticing my anxiety about taking a level 2-3 class, I recognize that I am offering myself an opportunity to learn and grow, and to cultivate relationships with another community of yogis.
Much like Adriene's later practices, this class focused primarily on the physical. I came in roughly ten minutes late, only to be greeted with an ab exercise. I don't detest abs—most likely because I've been doing them wrong—but I don't voluntarily do 100 crunches or situps in my room. But I noticed a very slight shift in my mindset as I began to feel fire in my core: rather than panic and think, "oh god, this hurts; my abs are screaming at me right now," I thought, "my abs are waking up." As the practice progressed, I got far closer to a "flow" state than I ever have—and with that came an ability to physically do things I never thought possible. While I'm primarily doing yoga for the mental benefits, it's encouraging to see my flexibility, strength, and endurance improve.
There's a certain fear that comes with progression. We tend to avoid stagnation or discouragement. Putting an "advanced" label on something either makes us want to compete and show off, or we avoid it altogether. In keeping with my propensity for believing I'm utter shite, I tend to consider advanced yoga as something of an exclusive club for enlightened people who drink kombucha and can actually do headstands (working on it). I mostly picked this class because it was at a convenient time (there's nothing worse than having exercise hanging over your head for the entire day) and parking is free on Sundays, and in choosing an "advanced" class for those reasons, I quickly forgot about its assigned level. I did it. I did it well. More importantly, I enjoyed it and looked forward to the rest of my day.
A bigger mindset shift was my sense of ease with my to-do list. Despite not having had a job or any real, practical commitments for over a month, I still panic about everything I'm supposed to do to prepare for Colorado and get through the day. During one activity, I'm thinking about how I'm not doing the other. Then I scroll through Instagram and online shop for 2 hours, thinking, "how the hell am I supposed to do it all?"
A total mystery, if you ask me.
I've often done home practices in order to save time. Given that most yoga classes are an hour to an hour and a half, add on commute time, and you're giving two hours of your time. Yet when I do home practices, I often do them in a rushed manner, I half-ass the postures, and I spend the whole time panicking about "priorities" that I wasn't completing.
(It just now dawned on me that most of our priorities aren't life or death situations, and that, in the grand scheme of things, life is arbitrary, silly, and not to be taken seriously. A half-finished lesson plan or a dirty bathroom sink isn't going to kill anyone. If only I'd realized that before a very dramatic, very expensive mental health crisis.)
So yes, going to a studio takes time and money. During the busiest or financially tightest of times, it's not always feasible. But in my case, this is a situation in which the positives vastly outweigh the negatives, as I spent the majority of today knowing that I had tasks to complete, but recognizing that what doesn't get done today can get done tomorrow. Mindful productivity doesn't necessarily mean you're going through tasks like you're walking in molasses. It just means that you're doing things with awareness, compassion, and attention.
After all, Sundays are the perfect day to take a minute to slow down and realize that if we're not enjoying life, what's the point? Life isn't a giant to-do list or resumé. We can strive to improve and grow while taking a day to recalibrate. It's okay to take that nap, to eat that cookie, to watch that video of bunnies in cups for the hundredth time.
But seriously. How cute are they?
Towards the end of class, the teacher asked us to think about what makes us feel stuck, and to recognize that without that internal awareness, we can't change. Unsurprisingly, most of my obstacles have been mental. I'm not any physically stronger than I was when I frequented yoga classes in college. But without that mental filter that I can't make it through a difficult sequence or posture, or that I'm not flexible enough to succeed, I see improvement. Saying "I can't" for six years of yoga made me stagnate in such a way that I still moved like a beginner."I can and I will" has become my daily mantra. I'm aware that I get easily discouraged and overwhelmed. But if anything has become clear this past month, it's that I can quickly learn and dive into practices that I previously avoided. It offers a sense of curiosity and joy in learning new things, as opposed to fear and judgment.
Although highway driving still freaks me the fuck out. Some things are better left avoided.
Namaste.
Since there's no Yoga With Adriene video for this practice, I included a segment of today's practice like the narcissistic asshole that I am.
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