Adriene did use this stereotypical language, yet she also has a way of making yogic concepts accessible for the general population, those of us that are suspicious of the highly spiritual, "woowoo" aspects of yoga. She asked us to connect to our best selves, the people that we have been or strive to be.
I often have superficial visions of the person that I want to be: this person has brilliantly white teeth, an overstuffed closet with exclusively cute clothes (rather than punny tee shirts that she's had since 10th grade). She wakes up at 5AM every day, runs 10 miles, and has the makeup skills of Pat McGrath.
This is obtainable for someone who has inherited hundreds of thousands of dollars and has no job.
Instead of thinking about my idealized self (but seriously, any tips for teeth whitening?), I thought about my most confident, stable self. Barring childhood, I was happiest, most confident, and most inspired in grad school. As someone who is used to feeling like an awkward outsider in almost every situation, I was surprised to find out that I felt like I fit in academia 100%. I was excitable, but not in the scary, AHHHHHH way that I've been before (it was more akin to ahhhh).
So while I was in a 3 legged dog (as one does), I concluded that I should go back to grad school. Which I am. So that worked out nicely.
While Adriene emphasizes connecting with the highest self, she also touches on considering the true: "how does it feel to be you today?" As someone who blends in with others, who waits for a clear sense of the social context I am in, I have struggled with a sense of a "true self." It's full of contradictions and hypocrisies. I am a dedicated yogi who eats copious amounts of cheese and meat. I am a makeup lover who doesn't pay attention to brand names and has a grand total of two foundations. I am an English major who avoids classic literature.
In many ways, my life—and subsequently my identity—is one giant paradox.
Despite these lived paradoxes, it's important to realize that experiences and identities ebb and flow. There is no set authentic self. People who seem to fit neatly into one category likely don't broadcast their contradictions or insecurity. Maybe Adriene has a drinking problem. Maybe she secretly goes to McDonald's every month.
Most likely not. But it's possible.
Just like some days are easier to get into that high lunge or half moon, some days it is easier to access our highest or best selves. Some days will be a total slog, or will feel purposeless. But in my case, there were days when I couldn't stop myself from doing research, from consuming as much feminist literature as I possibly could. And discovering those days, that sense of purpose is worth living for.
Just like the instructor said in rise and shine yoga, in order to access that better self, to confront obstacles we are facing, we must strengthen our internal awareness. In group therapy (yes, I've been there), we had daily check ins: everyone would rate their mood, have a daily word, a treatment goal, and a daily goal. While slightly cheesy, this daily exercise sparks the beginnings of internal awareness. The facilitator of the group said he does this every day while he's brushing his teeth. You need those two minutes to practice oral hygiene anyway, so why not go through your morning routine with an emotional check in?
You don't need to be in crisis or in therapy to value and connect with your emotional state—to access that higher, divine, worthy self.
Namaste.
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