What if Shakira's Hips Were Lying to Us All Along?

So yesterday, I was explaining the concept of truthful hips to my mother, and while it's a nice concept that you could go into a club and judge someone's zeal for sexy time by a single hip sway, it got me thinking: what is Shakira's just trying to impress this guy by shaking her hips, but really her hips would rather settle down on a couch with a nice Dickens book and a hot cup of tea? I mean, that chick dances like she's on Dancing With the Stars--she must be awfully sore.

Us women can be very sneaky creatures when need be (or not when need be, and when we're just bored/tired/hormonal/etc). If women can fake orgasms, what makes Shakira's audience believe that her hips just have to tell the truth? I know the song My Hips are Telling a White Lie But I'll Still Hop Into Bed With You just doesn't have the same ring to it but it may provide a more honest portrayal of this singer.

Even if her hips did tell her at first that this guy was the next Johnny Depp (he ages gracefully, let's not argue here), they soon take a very passive stance. They're hesitating hips. Shakira admits that "I don't, don't really know what I'm doing/But you seem to have a plan." These hips aren't taking charge of anything! They're indifferent! Can indifference lie, I ask you?

Can we just add that adding "slow" with "perfecto" is just a wee bit of a stretch?

It seems that much of the male audience believes that swaying hips must associate directly with sex, because, for many men, it's rather difficult to sway one's hips on demand. But I'l let you guys on a little secret: It's very, very easy for us to shake our hips--even if sex is the farthest thing from our minds.

I know.

It's a crazy world we live in, where we can never be sure what Shakira's hips are actually thinking.

Namaste.