What Driving Taught Me About Life

I may now avoid cars like the plague, but at times it is inevitable that I get into a car. And besides the obvious "red means stop, green means 'fucking move it'," I've learned that quite a few driving lessons can also be life lessons.

And you get to hear them, you lucky blog-reader.

1) Be confident. But not too confident.
Hesitating isn't sexy. Neither is death. Driving and/or life require quick decisions, and sometimes, you have to either go with your gut, or pretend you know what you're doing. But sometimes, that quick decision can be realizing that you're still an amateur, and to wait for the more confident drivers to do their thing while you wait for the fun green arrow.

2) College students think they're immortal. You'll just have to give them special privileges until they realize giant vehicles can, in fact, run over them.

3) Don't judge something by its label.
Sometimes, you may think something is filled with fancy hand attire. Spend some time with it and you realize it's got nothing but outdated maps and apple cores.
Other times, people/things will try to be flashy with their labels just to win some attention. Check engine light, anyone?

4) What may look cool on the surface may also strike the fancy of old men with a bunch of cats.

5) Think two steps ahead.
6) Sometimes, being surrounded by a bunch of people is overrated.
7) Especially in a parking lot.
8) Goddamnit.
9) And just remember: Just because the British have sexy accents, doesn't always mean they're in the right. Hah, gettit? The right?

I should probably just end this thing right here.

Namaste.