Days 23 and 24: Joy and Balance

Yes, I'm getting anxious to finish this journey. I still have the mindset that the sooner I finish this, the sooner I can get on to other things, even though I have exactly two things to do in order to prepare for the next chapter of my life. On a more positive note, however, after each 20 minute practice, I think, "that felt good. I think I'd like to do more."

In essence, I'm finding what feels good.

These two themes work well with each other, as in day 23, Adriene discusses balancing strength and grace with softness and joy, which as she articulately expresses, is making your practice your own. Part of that ability to personalize your practice is in balance or honoring where you are today. You are exactly where you need to be.

It's easy to misconstrue joy as ecstacy. This is easy for the manic of sorts: you might think you are joyful when you feel like your body is on fire, when you are sprinting from one activity to the next, when you feel like you could go on doing something forever. Ecstacy is intoxicating. It's addictive. It can be cleverly disguised as positive life choices, as I once described my refusal to slow down as being "addicted to empowerment." While far better than being addicted to drugs or alcohol, it's no more sustainable than dangerous addictions.

Joy, as Adriene describes it, is softness. It's ease. It offers the strength to be part of communities that allow you to explore and express your true self—not who you think you should be, or a future self that you reach and strive for. It's an invitation to come alive, a theme that I will further explore tomorrow.

As I have a tendency to interpret that message as justification for staying in my comfort zone, I am beginning to discover ways in which I can guide myself to new experiences: rather than say I should do something because it seems like an interesting hobby to others, I can look inwards and think about the kinds of things that have brought me joy in the past. Running is not that thing. I'm not about to throw myself into a roving game of volleyball. But hiking and biking have ended up feeling fulfilling and calming. Baking has brought me into a meditative state. Writing makes me forget my to-do list while simultaneously feeling productive.

Finding joy can be explorative, rather than prescriptive. Perhaps hiking in Fort Collins will be the most dreadful experience. Or it will be fulfilling and heart-opening. It's hard to know the difference when you're stuck in your head. But when you cultivate that sense of intuition, you can use an inner mirror (as noted in day 24) to be fulfilled. To find that internal pleasure and contentment.

Namaste.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLyvpjbflq0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDr-czC0PE4