We've all heard that cheesy song whenever a transition happens upon our lives..."make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver and the other's gold." I've been following through with the latter part of that advice pretty well--but for the past month or so, I'd been bemoaning that I followed it too well. In the scheduled, freak-out-if-such-and-such-if-something-doesn't-happen-by-a-specific-deadline mess of my head, I was sure that I was doing this whole college thing wrong because I'm a human being who likes to be in familiar situations and thus sticks around old friends from State College.
If I started fresh and met people who didn't know that I inhale coffee like nobody's business, or that I essentially talk with my facial expressions, maybe reaching out to strangers wouldn't be so hard. But college is an especially tricky balance between old and new experiences. But I'm not going to know what life would've been like if money issues instantly disappeared and I could go anywhere--so it would be ridiculous to dwell on the what could've been. Even if that is oftentimes my Friday night activity of choice.
All those college advice books that my parents threw at me told me to disregard my high school friends, like they were items of clothing I could just upgrade to a new, shinier version. But since more than half of our graduating class went from little lions to big, intimidating lions, it's a little impossible to pretend four years of my life didn't exist. And what can I say--the overwhelming nature of essays, scantrons, and lecture halls can seem less scary when you have a group of people to share your stories with over weekly milkshakes at Baby's. I just have to not close myself off to new people who have no idea what the hell this "nerd clot" is.
The "gold" part of old friendships is also growing in wealth. People who were mere acquaintances in high school seem to becoming much closer friends--and not be chance that we just grew up in the same area. Sometimes, one tiny thing two people have in common can lead to realizations that you both have thoughts about McDreamy from Grey's Anatomy, or that you devoured The Hunger Games in a single night...or that you both have a severe disliking for math and plan on taking the easiest class possible in that respect.
So it's not to say I've spent this past month stuck in my dorm room watching Eddie Izzard and eating M&Ms...that's only on Wednesdays, or when I feel like I've been run over by twelve trucks instead of just one. I'm still making a conscious effort to be open and friendly so that my face doesn't stay stuck in the "I hate the universe" expression I apparently wear when I'm trying to be neutral. So today's one activity that will take me out of my comfort zone is going to a RAM meeting (Raw Aesthetic Movement...a dance troupe that's essentially beat poets of the movement world). Having not danced for over a year, this should be an interesting group to join late, but I'm excited to see how it goes, and I shall report back in due time. (Suddenly my blog just switched to a British accent...I'll blame the caffeine on that one.)
Namaste.
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