Monday, August 12, 2013

The "Why Girls Annoy Me" Defense: Decisions

So I've seen a number of "why girls annoy me" videos on YouTube. And while Jenna Marbles has covered a number of topics in her "understanding girls" videos, there is one particular annoyance that has not yet been addressed. No, it's not going to the bathroom in groups (sometimes it's to discuss you, sometimes it's because we have the same pee schedules). It's the fact that taking forever to decide things seems to be a nuisance to the male species.

Well.

Do you know what happens when we don't think through all our options? Impulsive nature. Do you know what comes out of impulses? Too much candy, too many shoes, a terrible haircut, a breakup.

So think verrrrry wisely before you start wishing we were more spontaneous. Those pro/con lists might just be saving your relationship.

Sure, taking an hour to decide which lipstick to wear may seem rather inane at the time, but what seems to be the little picture for you, is actually the entire evening for us. Let's say that we're going out with some girlfriends, and we just bought some cute heels. We want to show them off to our friends because we just spent like, an entire paycheck on them, but we also know that our other friend enjoys bringing us to her farm, in which case the cute shoes would be ruined. We could pack our flip-flops in a bag, but that would mean getting a bigger bag, which would mean changing pants, because purple and brown just don't go together.

And that would just ruin girl's night, okay?

It's not that we're indecisive. Much. We just simply enjoy thinking things through, in order to make everything a little more pleasant for everybody.

Think of it this way: You know how we magically come out of the bathroom smelling like vanilla, donning fuller eyebrows and looking like we just spent a weekend in the sun? That's at least two hours at the makeup store. What you see is the finished product. We're like actors in a play. What seems like a simple performance, is actually hours upon hours behind the scenes, rehearsing lines. Do you know how long it takes to match an eyebrow pencil to your eyebrows?

And sometimes, if we're really desperate to come up with things to talk about (we've all had those awkward moments), it feels like a bonding moment to say "should I do this or this?" Maybe you're in the rocky beginning stages of dating, and you and a girl are going to see a movie. It may seem simpler to just go see Jackass and be done with it (but please don't take her to see that film), but she might want to sneak in that she likes action movies, but that her favorite actor is Jennifer Aniston, who's starring in that new rom-com.

Don't ask me why someone who likes action movies would also like Jennifer Aniston--I'm not judging.

Namaste.

1 comment:

  1. WHY hasn't this post gone viral yet?? It's hilarious! (...and true ;) )

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