I don't usually post such blatantly angry blogs, but I felt that this had to be said. Just be warned, this is a full-fledged rant, so if that's not your thing, please click away and enjoy some cat gifs. Cat gifs have never failed me.
My homophobic friend, however, has (oooh a transition; she must be a writer).
The other night, a few friends and I wanted to go to Chumley's--Penn State's sole gay bar. I'd gone once before, and practically died of deliciousness when I tried their Rumchata and alcoholic frappacinos. Those of that had gone before maintained that we'd had quiet, pleasant experiences there, and those of us that hadn't were soon on board after hearing "chocolate and alcohol" in the same sentence.
Except for one friend (we're using that term verrrry loosely here). As soon as he learned that we were taking him outside of his "comfort zone," he very loudly asked "who here wants to go to a gay bar?" To which my friend and I very enthusiastically raised our hands, because if somebody was about to take us away from our Rumchata, there was going to be a problem.
This post is for "that friend" who "isn't homophobic, but..."
That question is inherently bigoted and hateful, as it holds the implication that there is something undesirable about stepping foot into a gay bar. It makes about as much sense as hearing a gay person refuse to go into literally any other bar in State College because it is a "straight bar." My friend was under the assumption that, because he did not fit into a specific minority, it was scary, or unappealing somehow--which, by that logic, means that he can't be around women or racial minorities as well.
As if that wasn't hateful enough, my friend continued to assert that he would refuse to walk into Chumley's, that we'd "found his breaking point." He stated that, instead, he would "awkwardly hit on girls at Indigo," a MUCH more dignified way to spend your time, if you ask me.
This is where shit gets real. If you claim that you are not a homophobe, that you're really, deep down a nice guy, then proceed to deny the fact that gay people are humans too, you need to do some serious self-reflection. Then get a serious education. You may not be beating anybody up or setting anyone's houses on fire, but refusing to acknowledge a certain minority as worthy (or even tolerable) is, guess what, just as hateful as any act of violence. It is perpetuating the systematic intolerance that gay people have had to fight for literally hundreds of years. It is re-defining white, male, straight privilege as "normal." It is stating that objectifying and dry humping women at a club is a perfectly respectable activity, while having a conversation with a fellow human being is reprehensible and not worth any straight person's time.
It's laughable that there's still controversy over setting up ONE establishment where gay people can feel safe and secure. It's even more laughable that you've probably had conversations and, dare I say it, pleasant interactions with gay people without knowing their sexuality, but put a label on them and all of a sudden they're threatening you with their appletinis and penises.
You know where I've seen grossly oversexualized, animalistic behavior? At "straight" dance clubs. Which you seem to have no problem glossing over, since it benefits your straight male needs.
What gets me is that you think that this form of intolerance and discomfort is deemed more justifiable, more acceptable than other (more logical) forms of discomfort. If, for instance, you took your gun out and started waving it around me, chest puffed out and testosterone levels through the roof, I would begin to feel a little uncomfortable--justifiably so, seeing as GUNS FUCKING KILL PEOPLE. But if I were to say "raise your hand if you want ____to put his gun away," or simply asked you to put your gun away, I would be "stripping you of your rights as an American citizen," or deemed just plain crazy (which in itself is a problem that perpetuates sexism, but that's for another post). I'm not saying that every homophobic person has a gun, but my point is that other people's discomfort is seemingly illogical if it fails to benefit you as a privileged straight, white man.
Your life is not in imminent danger at a gay bar. Your sexuality is not in imminent danger. The only thing you are in danger of is seeming like a class-A asshole.
No one's asking you to be gay. No one's even asking you not to be proud of your sexuality. You must be very brave, stepping into a world that pours privilege on you and benefits you every single day. But what we are asking you to do is realize that this is the 21st century, you've already lost your homophobic battle, and that you can spend an hour in a room with people who are different from you. You might even learn something about the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment