If self study would have a textbook...

An idea came to me in the shower this morning...just arrived in my brain like it was a plane waiting to land. What is it about the shower that makes for epiphanies? Maybe it's the feeling of renewal, cleaning off the old worries and letting a clean body dive into a clean mind.
Or I'm being far too deep, and it's that one time in my day where I can let my mind wander. Yeah, that's more likely.
This idea, or dilemma is (surprise!) about yoga. I'd call it the yogi's dilemma, but even using that title seems far too self-congratulating for someone who still has to huff and puff through a series of sun salutations. While on the mat, it's easy--for the most part--to maintain a clear mind and breathe through the back-bending, leg swinging, and om-ing. It's off the mat that I'm at a loss as to how to be yogic. After that final Namaste, I find myself leaping off the mat to gorge myself in caffeine, chocolate (hey, I just sweated for an hour...I earned it, right?) and shopping excursions, that, $100 later make me feel more like a shopping addict than a true student of yoga.
Maybe I should call this the shopper's dilemma. In a world where shiny lip gloss and superficial needs are thrown at us, how do we stay grounded enough to find the deeper satya--or truths--in our lives?
I'm all for being healthy. I'm not afraid of a little sweat in order to feel good and able to take on the rest of the day. But I'm not about to eat nothing but kale greens and coconut water just to find myself. If Suzanne Morrison, author of Yoga Bitch found herself in between cigarettes and mountains of coffee, goshdarnit, so can I.
So maybe, instead of seeing yoga as a study of how we should be, yogis and shoppers alike can see it as a study of how we are. I might feel like chanting and eating vegan one day (though I have yet to see that day arrive yet), and then going to buy some cute jeans the next. I'm not going to beat myself up for being an appreciator of quality denim. Self study isn't an easy thing; there's no textbook emotions or thoughts that we maintain day after day. We don't come with multiple choice tests; the answer for happiness isn't "five downward facing dogs and a batch of brown rice." Life might be easier if there was such an answer, but it certainly wouldn't be more interesting.

So to all those out there who enjoy a nice bout of stretching followed by purchases of shiny things,

Namaste