Identified

I wish I could say I was out yoga-ing and being all productive and whatnot, but I have caught the PSU fever, so I'm snuggling up with some hot chocolate and True Blood episodes. That whole homework thing can just stay on a backburner while my head feels like it's been pounded on a rock. All this free time has got me thinking about identity. Many people leave senior year of high school hoping to be a completely different person since they can start fresh with people who haven't seen that awkward braces/glasses/failed pickup lines phase. They strive to strip of all awkwardness and re-invent themselves. But after 18 years of acquiring certain personality traits, can you really naturally transition into a whole new person? Or will it perpetually feel like one giant act? 

Some changed parts of a person gradually happen with time; I've found myself to be thinking more about techniques used in books, and why teachers always seem to take out their rage on unsuspecting victims known as scared little freshmen. But every intention that I've had to instantly be more outgoing and peppy has been downtrodden by both sleep deprivation and a natural desire to curl up in my dorm room with a book. Perhaps if all your energy was used to convince others of this new persona you would succeed, but it would be exhausting as hell and not worth that whole failing classes deal. 

Personally, I see the value in social growth, but people seem to be popping up with these new personalities overnight. It's a little bit like seeing Harry Potter suddenly fall in love with a horse. Although slightly less creepy. I don't want to be fake, but I'd hope not to come out of college exactly the same as how I acted in high school. Do I need to push a totally new view of the world for this change to happen? 

This is feeling like more of a freshman dilemma than the freshman 15. Gaining personality seems way more important than gaining some weight.

Namaste.