Hey I heard you were a wild one

I learned something today...according to my friends, I am the wild one of the group. Maybe it's the hair. Maybe it's the fact that I run around downtown bursting into Taylor Swift songs. Or perhaps the feather earrings give off a "I'm gonna party like it's 1999" impression. But whatever it is, I'm always shocked by people's beliefs that I'm a party girl. Do you know what happens on a typical weekend for me? I wake up, go to work, blog for a million hours (yes I do actually keep an academic blog too, don't judge), and then this happens:

So unless you count jamming out to some maroon 5 with a bunch of virtual fish partying, I'm about the lamest you can get on a Friday night.
It's not like I don't embrace silliness...believe me, if I had to be serious all the time, I'd crawl into a hole and die. I've pretty much been the group goof since I discovered caffeine and glitter. But sometimes, in response to the way I talk, my friends will give me that whole "make good decisions" talk, and discuss, in all seriousness, what they would do if I ended up drunk, pregnant, or both. I have been neither of these things, nor do I plan to be for a very, very long time!! So when does the line get drawn between silly and stupid? Sometimes you need some quality blond moments, but that doesn't mean I'm going to sacrifice my morals for a few memories about "the good old days in college." If those nights even get remembered. Blacking out? I've already experienced that when I had the flu in 6th grade...not as fun as you'd think.

It's strange, the kind of impression you give off when it's the least like yourself. At work, I am the timid girl who never talks. In my friend group, I'm the most likely to do stupid things. While I love to be silly and meet new people (as long as I'm not supposed to come initiate the conversation that follows "hi"), it's a dilemma to have to refute these first impressions I'm constantly faced with.

I know, I know--"be yourself" right? But this whole core self chase can be exhausting...as of now, I'm a serious student, mixed with the party girl who just happens to be completely un-interested in alcohol or drugs, mixed with the brooding existentialist, mixed with someone who was almost named Zaidico Mac. Yes, that was a thing that happened.

Namste.