This is What a Feminist Looks Like.

Whenever I told people I was a feminist, I got one of two reactions: 1) The implication that I should join "feminism anonymous" and "fix" myself, or "But you don't have boyish hair or hairy armpits! You're not a real feminist!"

I had no idea that body hair had a direct correlation with my political views. How wise of you to point it out.

The thing is, it's hard to pinpoint exactly what feminism is, as it takes all sorts of causes and forms. I mean, you could go with the broad definition that "feminism is the shocking notion that women are people too," but what sort of cause does that support? How do you teach such a vast idea? And it's a wee bit condescending to imply that a vast majority of people do not see women as people. As a woman, I have experienced just as much person-dom as my brother, father, and that guy buying milk at the supermarket. In my twenty years on Earth, I haven't come across anyone who tells me "you can't do this--you're a girl."

(I do realize that women in certain countries have it much much worse than a privileged white girl in safesville, PA. I am not trying to disregard their experiences, however, in this particular post I'm talking about how I personally relate to feminism).

The most vocal feminists are often those who share the idea that our gender is terribly oppressed, that men are eating manly ice cream from their silver spoons, and that patriarchy is the worst word you could possibly utter. Because the loudest voices are the most opinionated, feminism gets the image that we're all screaming "down with men! Vagina power!"

As for me, I'd rather not scream "vagina" in a public setting. It's a terribly ugly word.

So if, for the most part, I've experienced equality, people respect me, and I'm not so hot on screaming "down with patriarchy!" down the street, or rocking a short 'do, what exactly am I getting out of feminism?

To me, feminism is the idea that we should not just learn to tolerate women as equals, but we should celebrate womanhood and femininity. Because we've, for the most part, earned basic rights as civilians, we have the tendency to over correct and claim that "women can be just as manly as men! Let me go lift some weights and never show my emotions!"

I don't want to have to apologize for sporting sparkly eyeshadow and crying during The Titanic. That doesn't make me weak. It makes me--guess what--human.

There's still the idea that, to show your independence as a woman, you should ditch the foundation and the kitchen and go and focus on what's important--yet in this attempt to assert our independence, we're normalizing male qualities.

That stay at home mom is doing just as much of a service to woman kind as that lawyer, or that doctor. If there wasn't someone with strong nurturing qualities, we'd all be stuck in that rebellious teenager phase where we wear too much black eyeliner and bemoan the fact that "no one gets us."

And that's just a terrible look for a thirty year old, okay?

I am a feminist. I also like to wear clothes that show off my figure, be complimented on my looks, and fry my hair with a flat iron. This doesn't make me any weaker than the woman who lifts weights at the gym. Well, physically it does, but let's not go there.

Namaste.